I know, I know, I said that I’m doing this great and wonderful journey all alone and that I’m a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man to complete me. You might be surprised, then, at the fact that I basically view the world through a Tinderized lens, and the amount of times that I mentally swipe left is shrinking rapidly.

     I started out this trip saying to myself, “I think I shall take a husband,” which I can only assume is what men like Gaston used to think when they woke up one morning and strode into town for a pillage. This was also around the same time that I started to seriously consider purchasing a puppy, partially to ground myself in responsibility, partially to acquire a being that would rely on and love me entirely, and mostly to meet boys (see above). The similarities that developed in the way I thought about each process are disturbing at best and accurate at worst.

     First of all, no one just goes out and gets one the organic way anymore. There’s no picking one up at the farmer’s market on a Saturday morning, no more finding one on the curb where it’s been abandoned and rejected by someone else, no more casually strolling through the mall and catching one’s eye while you lick your soft serve cone. All of a sudden there are online surveys, questionnaires, filtering processes, and now, by some strange sorcery, it’s you who’s not good enough, not the other way around. You’re not expected to just look in your immediate vicinity or neighborhood anymore. Now the entire country and even world is opened to you to browse and peruse. People shop around according to temperament, personality, appearance, size, willingness to please, genetics, and trainability.

     Secondly, it’s not cheap anymore. The price has gone up approximately 230% since the last time I did this, 10 years ago. Plus, now you’re expected to provide them with all sorts of new amenities that weren’t even an option in the past; for example, treats, toys, chemotherapy, et cetera.

     I find myself struggling with whether I want to keep holding out until I stumble into one during my everyday life, finding the perfect one who seems like we were made to be together, or whether I don’t have time to keep going to functions on Saturdays just to walk in as the last available one is being literally snatched up. Maybe I am better just going online, tailoring options to what I want, and forking out the big bucks so that I can fill the void.

     The reality is that currently, I don’t want a dog or a boyfriend as much as I want to not have to worry when I leave him or her in the car while I run into the store. Life on and off the road is hard for anyone, with or without a significant anything, and I’m really enjoying just making sure that I have a place to pee during the day and sleep at night. Sometimes, though, when I’m at the dog park or the human park, I think that maybe I’m almost ready to make the leap. I’ve been putting feelers out there, and I wonder whether maybe, when I’m nearing the end of this trip, heading back for Colorado, while the leaves and the air are changing, just in time for the holidays, I’ll swing through Ohio and pick one up.