Krystal deigned to visit me in the northernmost reaches of Massachusetts where I live (basically New Hampshire, as I tell people, which is like the world’s saddest inside joke between me and just my address; no one laughs at it—of course, how could they). 80% of what we did was eat potatoes.

At one point, Krystal said, it seems like we’re guessing at what adults do. Is this right? Are we doing this right? We ask as we cook about 3 quarts of mac and cheese served with exclusively potato-based sides.

Krystal, aside from distinguishing herself as the first friend to visit me in Amesbury—(and probably the sixth friend ever who has visited me in my own home, since I always choose to live a reasonable yet inconvenient distance from the coolest cities in the world: Manila, Denver, Chicago, Paris, Seoul, Boston, you get the picture. It’s a quaint yet isolated life)—is also mayybeee my biggest fellow Audrey fan. Is that true? If you’re out there and you are my friend and you are a bigger fan of Audrey than Krystal, then please, PLEASE text me and I will edit this post hoc. But basically, Krystal and I went to Tiffany’s on 5th avenue specifically with our coffees to take pictures and relive our favorite moment from the film, and that first trip to New York stands out to me for mostly that reason.

For breakfast, we had madeleines with homemade cherry jam, whipped cream, and fresh peach juice bellinis while we both worked very hard (truly) from home. That night, Krystal and I cooked Audrey’s mac and cheese and spanish tortilla, and my own patatas braves, because we both love tapas.

Our one qualm was with the spicens (this word of course is supposed read “spices,” but I think spicens works well here, too). The mac and cheese called for nutmeg—which I’ve since learned is a staple of Italian thing, although I’m not sure mac ‘n’ cheese is. Oh, maybe if you call it pasta al forno? Anyways, we didn’t. Krystal went for cumin and smoked paprika instead, which was yum. The tortilla had some weirdo Italian spices, too, like basil, thyme, and oregano?? We added them anyways. There really didn’t seem to be enough eggs in it. Is that possible? Does everyone else have that problem and they’ve just figured out how to fix it? lmk in the comments.

The next morning, we made tortilla sandwiches, which were an awesome new invention. Halfway through eating them we realized that they were on potato bread. So, we were eating potatoes, essentially, on potato bread, with a side of potatoes (the aforementioned patatas). Anyways. We spent a thoroughly Audrey-approved day touring Amesbury’s art studios, sipping wine, talking to artists about their craft, pretending to be interested, and chatting about life. I love you, Krystal! Thanks for making the trip to come see me and to eat like Audrey At Home.

We also took a lot of bad pictures, as you’ll notice, and we drank a bottle of Pinot Noir that was jammier than licking out a jar of strawberry preserves. We have still not fully forgiven Jeff, who sold it to us. The bottle was pretty, as you can see, even though I couldn’t get the camera to completelyfocus. There are some other photos of me on the toilet, for example, which will go unpublished.

Anyway, Audrey Hepburn is classy, we aren’t, cheers!